Do you ever feel stuck in business or in life? Do you feel like you keep doing the same things over and over hoping for a different result? Do you expend enormous amounts of time and energy on something you believe in, but find you’re still in the same place despite your best efforts? There’s nothing worse than being stuck. I have three sure-fire ways to create momentum and become unstoppable! They might just surprise you!
My clients have given me all kinds of practice for coaching them out of being stuck: They get stuck in their own circumstances, stuck in old habits, stuck in mindsets, stuck in self-sabotaging patterns, stuck in unhealthy relationships, stuck in their jobs, stuck in debt, stuck in their own growth and path to success. So far, they haven’t named one thing that I, too, haven’t experienced myself. Somehow, I’ve always found my way back into forward motion. I’m going to share three tips with you, just in case you ever find yourself STUCK!
First, what does it mean when we’re stuck? How do we even know we’re stuck? Well, I’m sorry, but I have to say it: It sucks. Being stuck automatically puts you into a feeling of helplessness and that puts you in the role of being a victim. Sometimes, it means life is okay, but it’s lost its luster. Sometimes we get stuck in the land of mediocrity. Often, we get stuck in the land of “Who am I to complain?” Whether you’re stuck in a bad place, or stuck in a good place, when you cease to grow and expand, you’re stuck. Shew… just notice how you feel as you’re reading about being stuck… where is your energy right now? Low, right? Ooooh. Icky. Yuk. My energy plummets. So what can you do to get UNSTUCK? Here are three tried and true tips:
1. Become brutally honest about why and where you feel stuck.
This may require working with a coach, mentor or someone willing to tell you the truth. We are all pretty good at hiding behind our circumstances. And we can be experts at dishing out a lot of very legitimate reasons for being stuck (aka excuses)! Our FEAR is an excellent protector. One of my clients told me that he avoided working with me for months because he knew he couldn’t hide and he wasn’t ready to focus on the changes he knew he needed to make. That’s legitimate, isn’t it? Sometimes we just aren’t ready! And here’s the thing. Once you are brutally honest about it, everything starts to change and move forward again almost effortlessly! Why? Because no one likes being stuck! It’s exhausting! A good coach is going to hold the space for you to step into your best self, even if you don’t feel like it. A good coach will believe in you until you can believe in yourself. And a good coach is going to allow you the time and space you need to get ready to dive back into the pool of honesty and purposeful action. Whether you work with a coach, or use a journal, or enroll in self-development programs, just understand that the only thing that is keeping you stuck lives inside your thoughts and beliefs! If only we could get out of our own way!
So let me ask you this: Are you stuck because you’ve quit too soon? Given up? Stopped believing in what’s possible? Are you settling? These are some questions to ask yourself as you assess why you are no longer moving forward.
2. Be committed to doing something about it.
This is an important part of getting your mojo back! You have to do something different! Break patterns! Quite often, I knew I was stuck and I fought like crazy to break free. I went into action without having a clue what I was doing! I added more things to my to-do list and onto my calendar, determined to make my situation better, until finally my life was out-of-control, I had no free time, and I was burnt out! I thought if I was busy, surely I would not stay stuck. Boy was I wrong! About 8 years ago, I learned that one of the best ways to get unstuck was to sit in some good old-fashioned solitude and listen to my heart. So slow down and assess where you are and where you are going. Make sure that what you do each day aligns with what you want and who you are in the world. For me, I called that quiet time of self-reflection a spiritual retreat. Depending on how STUCK I was, depended on how much of a ‘retreat’ I needed. One time, I was so stuck, I took a trip to Peru by myself for a 10-day dose of alignment and soul-searching. Another year it was four days in Sedona with a good friend (who never ever stopped believing in me). One year, it was a retreat in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina… it was oh-so-good-for-my-soul. And, in case you’re wondering, it is not a coincidence that I’ve mentioned being stuck and needing to find a good retreat! I’m hosting one next month so if you’d like to learn what happens at a soulful, peaceful retreat, here’s the link: (insert link). I’d love for you to join us!
If a retreat isn’t an option, and you aren’t working with a coach, then find what gets you back into the upward spiral of energy and passion for life! Don’t settle for the status quo! Keep moving up and keep expanding. Your soul LOVES expansion and your spirit wilts if it’s kept in a little box called ‘STUCK.’
3. Believe that you and your heart’s desires are worth making some significant changes.
I have done a lot of work around my own self-worth. As women, we all seem to have our own version of worthiness issues. Do you ever do something good for yourself, but it’s followed with feelings of guilt? Do you ever indulge in something extra special but have to justify it by saying you’re entitled and deserving of it (in an effort to convince yourself or someone else)? These are all symptoms of self-worth issues. Again, work through this with someone! Begin treating yourself to the things that build your self-image, your self-confidence, as well as your belief in yourself. Love yourself so that you can love LIFE! If you don’t know you’re worthy of having and being more, how will your heart grow and expand?
In the past few years, I began setting intentions to take better care of myself in mind, body and spirit. It started out small, like buying a high quality shampoo and conditioner. Then, I started eating healthier and that meant spending more for organic fruits and vegetables (why are healthy foods more expensive than the ones that are really bad for you)? Then, another year, I signed up for a wellness program that included a massage once/month. These were all indulgences that made me feel uncomfortable at first, but were ways of taking better care of myself. Now, they’re a regular part of my life! The more I do those little daily things, the more I grow and prosper.
Doing those small daily self-care activities but not believing you are worth it, will only feed your guilt and make you more self-conscious. Embrace how unique you are. Realize that the world needs your brilliance! Know and believe that there is only ONE of you and you have the power to make a difference in the world! Put yourself in an environment that reminds you of your unique gifts and a place that honors and respects you for being you. Don’t compromise yourself. Don’t let go of the BEST parts of you in order to be loved and/or accepted. You are worth making an investment in yourself so you can be the best YOU possible. You are worth the investment to never settle and always be your best! So keep going and keep growing and know that yes, you are worth it!
So if you’re stuck, its time for some serious reflection and guidance. Whatever you do, don’t sit around waiting for the tow truck to arrive! You could have a very long wait! Hire a coach. Enroll in a coaching program. Or sign up for a retreat! Whatever you do, commit to being UNSTOPPABLE!